A golden experience.

I don't know about you but when I read a "how to" book it all sounds so straight forward. You do this and it is all supposed to work out. It is often a little later in the book that you read about the possibilities of what could actually happen.

This has been my experience with silence and solitude as spiritual disciplines. Especially when in the silence and solitude your mind is all over the place. It is so hard top remain focussed on God. My mind wanders all over things of got to do you name it. But this according to a later part of the book is normal so It may be normal but it is not easy to counter or cope with. You just have to bring your thoughts back to God again, and again and again...........

The other thing I have discover as I spend time with God in this less controlled way is that as the light of a closer relationship with God comes, the more I realise my own internal darkness. I have realised my deep internal anger, well masked and to a large extent controlled, but there none the less. This came as quite a shock and to a certain extent traumatic, but the revelation will allow God to begin to work on it with me. I also discovered that internally I am greedy and self-centred, I think I may have suspicions about this. However spending this time with God as sharply brought it into focus. I have faith that he will help me deal with this now he has pointed it out my sin with such clarity.



It is bit like the old analogy of the purifying of gold. The gold must be super heated beyond melting point to allow the impurities to float to the surface. Then they can be scraped off. This is an opportunity I think, but not for the fainthearted I suspect. The book did go on to tell me that this enlightenment of my darkness was a distinct possibility. So I seem to be on track ..................I will keep you posted on my progress or maybe lack of it.