Sometimes experiences and interactions bring life into sharp focus. I was involved in two experiences, one as a spectator and one as participant, and they both brought a reality check . In fact both experiences were very different, one full of hope, the other caused such sadness.
It is in these moments I feel that I gain an acute sense of reality about what is important in life. There is so much that takes up my time that has little or no real value, let alone eternal value. As I consider this process of meditation and silence, I am becoming more aware that I am an eternal being right Now....not only in the future. God the Father created me for eternity. The question is "do I live with eternal values and knowledge, knowing that the things I do today, determine my tomorrow?"
I think we live our lives with such ambivelence today. We place so much importance on the future and the past. While we drift through our now in a blur, can we remember with any clarity the details of your all to busy day, or did you function on auto pilot? I did! The mundane took over and my day was filled with automatic responses until something dramatic and traumatic happened. I live a desensitised life in many ways. I probably would not have noticed so much a month or two ago but now I feel the pain a little more. Because I have chosen to spend time with the Father, the things that break his heart are beginning to effect mine. My eternity is changing....One day at a time.
This is quote from St John of the Cross about devotions; "Their hearts (meaning us) grow attached to the feelings they get from their devotional life. They focus on the affect not the substance of devotion"
I am starting to see that the changes that are made for eternity, like those happening to my heart, have little to do with feelings. I felt little in the last little while in my devotions. I have however made some small steps forward to my destiny and eternity.
"I took the road less travelled
and it made all the difference".....into eternity
Wednesday, 29 August 2012
Sunday, 26 August 2012
Coming Home
I love to read the Books that Henri Nouwen writes about his journey closer to God through the Dayspring Trust. Henri went from an international speaker and lecturer working at Harvard University to a pastor of a group of mentally disabled residents at the Dayspring Trust. Part of that journey was his fascination with the Rembrandt painting "The Prodigal Son." I have read this before but in conjunction with what I was saying yesterday about intimacy it is starting to have a new and quite different meaning.
God is using the Prodigal Son to teach me some things about himself and ultimately about me. As with Henri above, I have found that it is possible to be in full time ministry ( which I was for 14 years) and still have little true intimacy with the Father. When I look at Luke 15, I find there are many ways I can be taught this. God has been talking to me about my circumstances.
As I said yesterday I am starting to see the darkness in my life like the younger son, although I have thought I was at times akin to the older son in the latter years of my life. In the end, God has shown me that neither son knew his father in an intimate way. Until the prodigal returned, neither son had any interest in knowing his Father. One was interested in being good and right, while the other was set on doing to do what he wanted to do. I can identify with both characters at different moments in time (sometimes on the same day).
Having made a decision towards intimacy with the Father it is reassuring that the father in the story literally runs towards the returning son despite the darkness and sin in his life. Although there is darkness in my life, the Father already knows that. I guess I am the surprised one.... firstly that the father is running towards me.... and secondly it appears that I am more concerned about my darkness than he is. The thing keeping we away from my father is not my darkness but my fear.
God has pointed out "There is no fear in love and perfect love (God's love) casts out all fear. However it will not happen overnight, not because God can't, or won't, but because I could not cope. I have to learn to be loved, and to truly love one day at a time. In acheiving this I will lose my darkness and sin one day at a time on the way.
I rest with this scripture given to me many years ago...."Being confident of this, that he who has begun a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" Philippians 1:6
I continue to come home and finish the story begun in Luke 15, just like you.
God is using the Prodigal Son to teach me some things about himself and ultimately about me. As with Henri above, I have found that it is possible to be in full time ministry ( which I was for 14 years) and still have little true intimacy with the Father. When I look at Luke 15, I find there are many ways I can be taught this. God has been talking to me about my circumstances.
As I said yesterday I am starting to see the darkness in my life like the younger son, although I have thought I was at times akin to the older son in the latter years of my life. In the end, God has shown me that neither son knew his father in an intimate way. Until the prodigal returned, neither son had any interest in knowing his Father. One was interested in being good and right, while the other was set on doing to do what he wanted to do. I can identify with both characters at different moments in time (sometimes on the same day).
Having made a decision towards intimacy with the Father it is reassuring that the father in the story literally runs towards the returning son despite the darkness and sin in his life. Although there is darkness in my life, the Father already knows that. I guess I am the surprised one.... firstly that the father is running towards me.... and secondly it appears that I am more concerned about my darkness than he is. The thing keeping we away from my father is not my darkness but my fear.
God has pointed out "There is no fear in love and perfect love (God's love) casts out all fear. However it will not happen overnight, not because God can't, or won't, but because I could not cope. I have to learn to be loved, and to truly love one day at a time. In acheiving this I will lose my darkness and sin one day at a time on the way.
I rest with this scripture given to me many years ago...."Being confident of this, that he who has begun a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" Philippians 1:6
I continue to come home and finish the story begun in Luke 15, just like you.
Friday, 24 August 2012
Moths to a flame
It is said that moths will be attracted to a flame (light) at night, ultimately this attraction will cause their death. This seems paradoxical to say the least, that the very thing that attracts us will also kill us. I think there may be a similarity in this process with becoming intimate with "the Father".
As I walk very slowly towards a greater intimacy with "the Father" through meditation and silence, I have become profoundly aware of the darkness in my own life. The darkness becomes more obvious as I step incrementally towards the Light. This has not happened over night, it has taken months and I have a very long way to go. I guess as I approach the Light, the darkness in me becomes more obvious. I don't find this a comfortable process because in order to keep travelling - like the moth -parts of me have to die. Habits and sins as they come to the light need to be put to death. This is not easy and it is painful.
So I guess I have two basic choices: to step forward, no matter how slowly, or step back until I can regain my comfort. These are very real choices because no one else knows but the Father and I. Others, if they were watching closely, probably could not look hard enough to spot the subtle differences over time, if I push forward or just ease back a little each day. ( That's one of the reasons I decided to tell you........ a little accountability).
Do I choose to go forward like the moth knowing the cost will be parts of me to die, and parts of my life I am very comfortable with have to change and ultimately disappear? I cannot have intimacy with GOD and the comfort I am used to, they seem incompatible at this stage and maybe forever I don't know.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
I believe there is truth in these words.
Paul
As I walk very slowly towards a greater intimacy with "the Father" through meditation and silence, I have become profoundly aware of the darkness in my own life. The darkness becomes more obvious as I step incrementally towards the Light. This has not happened over night, it has taken months and I have a very long way to go. I guess as I approach the Light, the darkness in me becomes more obvious. I don't find this a comfortable process because in order to keep travelling - like the moth -parts of me have to die. Habits and sins as they come to the light need to be put to death. This is not easy and it is painful.
So I guess I have two basic choices: to step forward, no matter how slowly, or step back until I can regain my comfort. These are very real choices because no one else knows but the Father and I. Others, if they were watching closely, probably could not look hard enough to spot the subtle differences over time, if I push forward or just ease back a little each day. ( That's one of the reasons I decided to tell you........ a little accountability).
Do I choose to go forward like the moth knowing the cost will be parts of me to die, and parts of my life I am very comfortable with have to change and ultimately disappear? I cannot have intimacy with GOD and the comfort I am used to, they seem incompatible at this stage and maybe forever I don't know.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Robert Frost
I believe there is truth in these words.
Paul
Wednesday, 22 August 2012
Silently mindful
I am really aware of the psychological phenomena of mindfulness in recent times. It is used to bring clarity, stress reduction and develop more emotional intelligence to name a few things. In its simplest form mindfullness means to pay attention to the present moment, without judgement. What is happening right now! This means we become aware of our thoughts, emotions, feelings and actions.
This would seem to be a useful thing to do when practicing silence and in my case "the surrender method of meditation".
This means to surrender all thoughts during my silence back to God. As another thought pops into my head release it back to God. This hopefully brings a deeper revelation of God. As I said previously it is bringing a greater sense of peace into my day to day walk, with 5 minutes silence per day. One of the things of mindfulness is to focus on "the breath" - breathing in, breathing out - from deep within the abdomen. I find this brings a sense of relaxation. I have no idea whether the two methods are intended to be combined but it works for me at the moment.
I like the concept of the breath which is brought in the form of the pneuma of the New Testament and ruach of the Old. They are both attached at one level or another to the concept of the Holy Spirit. Which to me opitomises the concept of breathing in the presence of God. This really appeals to me in all sorts of ways but especially in a meditation sense.
Still trying to work it out
Paul.
This would seem to be a useful thing to do when practicing silence and in my case "the surrender method of meditation".
This means to surrender all thoughts during my silence back to God. As another thought pops into my head release it back to God. This hopefully brings a deeper revelation of God. As I said previously it is bringing a greater sense of peace into my day to day walk, with 5 minutes silence per day. One of the things of mindfulness is to focus on "the breath" - breathing in, breathing out - from deep within the abdomen. I find this brings a sense of relaxation. I have no idea whether the two methods are intended to be combined but it works for me at the moment.
I like the concept of the breath which is brought in the form of the pneuma of the New Testament and ruach of the Old. They are both attached at one level or another to the concept of the Holy Spirit. Which to me opitomises the concept of breathing in the presence of God. This really appeals to me in all sorts of ways but especially in a meditation sense.
Still trying to work it out
Paul.
Sunday, 19 August 2012
The Road Less travelled
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth. "The Road Not Taken": 1920 Robert Frost Verse 1
I started this piece by thinking about Robert Frost's poem which culminates in "the road less travelled". When I looked at the first verse of his poem, it probably sums up my feelings towards working with this concept of silence. As far as I can see the path bends into the undergrowth and becomes difficult. I am persevering but it is not easy. My mind wanders all over the place. My Spiritual Director describes this process, as sitting on the bottom of a river and watching the boats (your thoughts) go over head. The trick is not to get into any of the boats and go away with them. So for me this is very much a developing process, that has meant my road has a few brambles and thorns close to it. That's with only 5 minutes a day!! I am however reminded of the words of Scott Peck who said: "Life is difficult, when you understand that, it gets easier."
I was with friend of mine yesterday and we were praying and talking. A scripture was quickened to us. This was one that had been very important to us, over 5 years ago, when we were both in the same church. Genesis 26:18 " Isaac reopened the wells that had been dug in the time of his father Abraham which the Philistines had stopped up after Abraham died." I think there is a well of silence that has been stopped up over the years. The Philistines of popular culture - and to some extent modern church culture - have filled in the well of "intimate silence". This was an area our forefathers knew about and treasured.
Could this process be an access to the "living water" that Jesus describes to the Samaritan Woman in John 4:14? Peace is the lingering result of my silence at the moment. Can peace be a part of that living water? I was looking up peace in my concordance on my phone and I came across this scripture John 7: 38 "Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within them." Jesus also said: "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you....." If I have this profound peace, I must have been in the company of the living God. So I should be somewhere along the road towards intimacy.
I continue to travel the road less travelled with God.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference. "The Road Not Taken": Verse 4 Robert Frost 1920
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth. "The Road Not Taken": 1920 Robert Frost Verse 1
I started this piece by thinking about Robert Frost's poem which culminates in "the road less travelled". When I looked at the first verse of his poem, it probably sums up my feelings towards working with this concept of silence. As far as I can see the path bends into the undergrowth and becomes difficult. I am persevering but it is not easy. My mind wanders all over the place. My Spiritual Director describes this process, as sitting on the bottom of a river and watching the boats (your thoughts) go over head. The trick is not to get into any of the boats and go away with them. So for me this is very much a developing process, that has meant my road has a few brambles and thorns close to it. That's with only 5 minutes a day!! I am however reminded of the words of Scott Peck who said: "Life is difficult, when you understand that, it gets easier."
I was with friend of mine yesterday and we were praying and talking. A scripture was quickened to us. This was one that had been very important to us, over 5 years ago, when we were both in the same church. Genesis 26:18 " Isaac reopened the wells that had been dug in the time of his father Abraham which the Philistines had stopped up after Abraham died." I think there is a well of silence that has been stopped up over the years. The Philistines of popular culture - and to some extent modern church culture - have filled in the well of "intimate silence". This was an area our forefathers knew about and treasured.
Could this process be an access to the "living water" that Jesus describes to the Samaritan Woman in John 4:14? Peace is the lingering result of my silence at the moment. Can peace be a part of that living water? I was looking up peace in my concordance on my phone and I came across this scripture John 7: 38 "Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within them." Jesus also said: "Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you....." If I have this profound peace, I must have been in the company of the living God. So I should be somewhere along the road towards intimacy.
I continue to travel the road less travelled with God.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference. "The Road Not Taken": Verse 4 Robert Frost 1920
Thursday, 16 August 2012
Intimacy in Silence
I was chatting with some young people in our home and one asked, Why would you want to sit in silence with God? I had to think about that, but I concluded that being able to sit in silence with someone in a contented way is one of the ultimate types of intimacy. Marriages that are strong and seasoned have the potential to do this. Where there is such a level of intimacy and understanding that sometimes words become unnecessary.
As we, the Church, are Bride of Christ, I find this a good illustration of the relationship. It it also works for me because like any good marriage it takes work and commitment. Love in this case is spelt TIME. I found that working in the area of silence as a form of meditaion is quite difficult and I hope I will get better at it. I am working on five minute sessions a day at the moment. When I can get my outside world quiet, my inside world just seems to get louder!! I will persevere though and see what happens.
Maybe Julian of Norwich (1343-1413) discovered a truth that we can hang onto when we don't understand: "We are so preciously loved by God that we cannot comprehend it."
As we, the Church, are Bride of Christ, I find this a good illustration of the relationship. It it also works for me because like any good marriage it takes work and commitment. Love in this case is spelt TIME. I found that working in the area of silence as a form of meditaion is quite difficult and I hope I will get better at it. I am working on five minute sessions a day at the moment. When I can get my outside world quiet, my inside world just seems to get louder!! I will persevere though and see what happens.
Maybe Julian of Norwich (1343-1413) discovered a truth that we can hang onto when we don't understand: "We are so preciously loved by God that we cannot comprehend it."
Friday, 10 August 2012
A little Bit of Nothing
What would happen if we did nothing?
In fact nothing at all; would this be a bad thing?
We are so driven in our task orientated cultures about doing, that I think we try to translate that drive into our relationship with God. But is this what God wants or does it just enable us to put another tick into today's checklist and we feel a little better? I am not so sure God is into the perpetual motion scene and all that accompanies it.
One the things that seems to accompany "the task culture" is sound, more specifically we surround ourselves with noise. We may call it music, teaching, entertainment, life.................... but it is still noise. When we claim "to do nothing" we still surround ourselves with noise, sometimes music, we may even call it worship. But is it because we are scared of silence, of stopping long enough to hear the still small voice of God, that constantly whispers to us? Maybe if there is enough noise we don't have to hear the voice; then consequently we don't have to do anything about what the voice might say.
Maybe we are afraid that if we stop there might actually be silence and we will be confronted with being alone. I find all of the scenarios of silence quite difficult, but unfortunately that doesn't make it the wrong thing to do.
I recently read a quote from Saint John of the Cross which stated "............ Silence is God's first language." If that were true what would that look like, I wonder. I think I may have to find out. You can join me if you wish, we could give it a go together.
Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God.............
In fact nothing at all; would this be a bad thing?
We are so driven in our task orientated cultures about doing, that I think we try to translate that drive into our relationship with God. But is this what God wants or does it just enable us to put another tick into today's checklist and we feel a little better? I am not so sure God is into the perpetual motion scene and all that accompanies it.
One the things that seems to accompany "the task culture" is sound, more specifically we surround ourselves with noise. We may call it music, teaching, entertainment, life.................... but it is still noise. When we claim "to do nothing" we still surround ourselves with noise, sometimes music, we may even call it worship. But is it because we are scared of silence, of stopping long enough to hear the still small voice of God, that constantly whispers to us? Maybe if there is enough noise we don't have to hear the voice; then consequently we don't have to do anything about what the voice might say.
Maybe we are afraid that if we stop there might actually be silence and we will be confronted with being alone. I find all of the scenarios of silence quite difficult, but unfortunately that doesn't make it the wrong thing to do.
I recently read a quote from Saint John of the Cross which stated "............ Silence is God's first language." If that were true what would that look like, I wonder. I think I may have to find out. You can join me if you wish, we could give it a go together.
Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God.............
Wednesday, 8 August 2012
Simple but not easy.
After reading the last blog a friend of mine commented that sometimes you can't be bothered having a shower in the natural when you are down, let alone worrying about the spiritual cleansing. I believe that is a true comment on what it can be like for us.
Interestingly God doesn't seem to take this into account too much in His way of doing things. He is very black and white - "if your eye causes you to sin pluck it out, if your hand causes you to sin cut it off". There does not seem to be a lot of room in here for our emotional state; what we are feeling at the time. In the story of the "Rich Young Ruler's" encounter with Jesus there was not a lot of room for misinterpretation of what He said. I know that in the Bible there are many areas open for debate but I think the basics are very simple and very clear. Love the Lord your God with all your Heart and Love your neighbour as yourself (paraphrase)... ..........Then He goes on to say if you love Me you will obey My commandments. Not much room for error in these statements. When we think back Jesus was speaking directly to an audience that was largely illiterate, so the message had to be direct. In the middle ages the basics were simple enough to paint in pictures around churches, so the ordinaty folk could follow, because they couldn't read.
There is one thing the Devil and God have in common: they both want kill us in one way or another. The devil just wants to kill us; God wants us to die to our flesh so that we may truly live. It sounds so easy, as it rolls off the keyboard but is in essence a painful process, which I believe God does incrementally, if we let him (and sometimes even if we don't). It must be easier if we cooperate!! Surely!!
Simple but not easy!
Interestingly God doesn't seem to take this into account too much in His way of doing things. He is very black and white - "if your eye causes you to sin pluck it out, if your hand causes you to sin cut it off". There does not seem to be a lot of room in here for our emotional state; what we are feeling at the time. In the story of the "Rich Young Ruler's" encounter with Jesus there was not a lot of room for misinterpretation of what He said. I know that in the Bible there are many areas open for debate but I think the basics are very simple and very clear. Love the Lord your God with all your Heart and Love your neighbour as yourself (paraphrase)... ..........Then He goes on to say if you love Me you will obey My commandments. Not much room for error in these statements. When we think back Jesus was speaking directly to an audience that was largely illiterate, so the message had to be direct. In the middle ages the basics were simple enough to paint in pictures around churches, so the ordinaty folk could follow, because they couldn't read.
There is one thing the Devil and God have in common: they both want kill us in one way or another. The devil just wants to kill us; God wants us to die to our flesh so that we may truly live. It sounds so easy, as it rolls off the keyboard but is in essence a painful process, which I believe God does incrementally, if we let him (and sometimes even if we don't). It must be easier if we cooperate!! Surely!!
Simple but not easy!
Saturday, 4 August 2012
Things rub off on us.
As we travel through our daily lives, doing our everyday tasks, things rub off on us. Things like dirt, grime, germs, contaminates of one form or another. This causes us to wash our hands and ultimately ourselves in baths and showers. To a large extent most of this contamination process goes unnoticed yet we methodically have a process of cleansing ourselves. Do we acknowledge that our spiritual life can be like that too?
We pick up all sorts of spiritual contaminants through our daily living in our media soaked world. Our eyes are being constantly assailed with images that are good, bad and downright evil. Depending on where we are, we may not be able to do too much about that. However much what attacks us may come from we choose to entertain ourselves with. What we watch, what we listen to. The Bible warns us to watch our "eyegate". What are we looking at on a regular basis? Does it uplift us and bring us closer to God or does it contaminate our spirit?
It is fabulous that God has a remedy for our poor choices, and it is basic Christianity (Christianity 101). It is simply called confession and repentence. God calls us on a daily basis to confess our sin and bad choices then turn from them. A daily spiritual shower which not only cleanses us but allows us to take on the beautiful aroma of forgiveness, grace and freedom. Much as the sweet aroma of shower soap in the natural. I love the feeling of a lovely warm shower and I am learning to do that in the spirit as well on a regular basis.
Paul
Paul
We pick up all sorts of spiritual contaminants through our daily living in our media soaked world. Our eyes are being constantly assailed with images that are good, bad and downright evil. Depending on where we are, we may not be able to do too much about that. However much what attacks us may come from we choose to entertain ourselves with. What we watch, what we listen to. The Bible warns us to watch our "eyegate". What are we looking at on a regular basis? Does it uplift us and bring us closer to God or does it contaminate our spirit?
It is fabulous that God has a remedy for our poor choices, and it is basic Christianity (Christianity 101). It is simply called confession and repentence. God calls us on a daily basis to confess our sin and bad choices then turn from them. A daily spiritual shower which not only cleanses us but allows us to take on the beautiful aroma of forgiveness, grace and freedom. Much as the sweet aroma of shower soap in the natural. I love the feeling of a lovely warm shower and I am learning to do that in the spirit as well on a regular basis.
Paul
Paul
Thursday, 2 August 2012
Capacity Building
I work with a non-profit organisation that works with "at risk" youth in our local community. We have grown form a small two man operation to an organisation that employs nine people. Part of our role on the Board is developing our structual and governance capabilities to match our growth. This is loosely called capacity building.
I believe God is very interested in building our inner capacity or - as in my last blog - expanding our tents (Isaiah 54:2-3). This not a one dimensional process that is all natural or all spiritual. It is said the spiritual reflects the natural, so God uses all facets of our lives. Life's trials are the perfect ground for extending the fabric of our tents both spiritually and in character. Trevor Yaxley from Lifeway Bible College always says "Don't ever waste a good trial!"
The trials of everyday life: financially, relationally and spiritually test our ability to correctly interpret and apply the Word of God. Proverbs 7:1 states "My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you". This simple obedience results in the development of hope and faith. As Proverbs suggests with "line upon line, row upon row, precept upon precept". We get better slowly as we persist with the love and support of others.
God expands our tents through other wonderfully self inflicted things like diets and exercise regimes (both of which I am attempting at the minute!) These trials teach things like resilience, consistency, how to overcome yourself, especially in your flesh . This can be useful when dealing with temptation knowing that this need or urge shall pass, like hunger pangs and physical pain of exercise.
We grow stronger, when our internal capacity is built!!
Paul
I believe God is very interested in building our inner capacity or - as in my last blog - expanding our tents (Isaiah 54:2-3). This not a one dimensional process that is all natural or all spiritual. It is said the spiritual reflects the natural, so God uses all facets of our lives. Life's trials are the perfect ground for extending the fabric of our tents both spiritually and in character. Trevor Yaxley from Lifeway Bible College always says "Don't ever waste a good trial!"
The trials of everyday life: financially, relationally and spiritually test our ability to correctly interpret and apply the Word of God. Proverbs 7:1 states "My son, keep my words and store up my commands within you". This simple obedience results in the development of hope and faith. As Proverbs suggests with "line upon line, row upon row, precept upon precept". We get better slowly as we persist with the love and support of others.
God expands our tents through other wonderfully self inflicted things like diets and exercise regimes (both of which I am attempting at the minute!) These trials teach things like resilience, consistency, how to overcome yourself, especially in your flesh . This can be useful when dealing with temptation knowing that this need or urge shall pass, like hunger pangs and physical pain of exercise.
We grow stronger, when our internal capacity is built!!
Paul
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