Moths to a flame

It is said that moths will be attracted to a flame (light) at night, ultimately this attraction will cause their death. This seems paradoxical to say the least, that the very thing that attracts us will also kill us. I think there may be a similarity in this process with becoming intimate with "the Father".

As I walk very slowly towards a greater intimacy with "the Father" through meditation and silence, I have become profoundly aware of the darkness in my own life. The darkness becomes more obvious as I step incrementally towards the Light. This has not happened over night, it has taken months and I have a very long way to go. I guess as I approach the Light, the darkness in me becomes more obvious. I don't find this a comfortable process because in order to keep travelling - like the moth -parts of me have to die. Habits and sins as they come to the light need to be put to death. This is not easy and it is painful.

So I guess I have two basic choices: to step forward, no matter how slowly, or step back until I can regain my comfort. These are very real choices because no one else knows but the Father and I. Others, if they were watching closely, probably could not look hard enough to spot the subtle differences over time, if I push forward or just ease back a little each day. ( That's one of the reasons I decided to tell you........ a little accountability).

Do I choose to go forward like the moth knowing the cost will be parts of me to die, and parts of my life I am very comfortable with have to change and ultimately disappear? I cannot have intimacy with GOD and the comfort I am used to, they seem incompatible at this stage and maybe forever I don't know.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

I believe there is truth in these words.

Paul