Coming Home

I love to read the Books that Henri Nouwen writes about his journey closer to God through the Dayspring Trust. Henri went from an international speaker and lecturer working at Harvard University to a pastor of a group of mentally disabled residents at the Dayspring Trust. Part of that journey was his fascination with the Rembrandt painting "The Prodigal Son." I have read this before but in conjunction with what I was saying yesterday about intimacy it is starting to have a new and quite different meaning.

God is using the Prodigal Son to teach me some things about himself and ultimately about me. As with Henri above, I have found that it is possible to be in full time ministry ( which I was for 14 years) and still have little true intimacy with the Father. When I look at Luke 15, I find there are many ways I can be taught this. God has been talking to me about my circumstances.

As I said yesterday I am starting to see the darkness in my life like the younger son, although I have thought I was at times akin to the older son in the latter years of my life. In the end, God has shown me that neither son knew his father in an intimate way. Until the prodigal returned, neither son had any interest in knowing his Father. One was interested in being good and right, while the other was set on doing to do what he wanted to do. I can identify with both characters at different moments in time (sometimes on the same day).

Having made a decision towards intimacy with the Father it is reassuring that the father in the story literally runs towards the returning son despite the darkness and sin in his life. Although there is darkness in my life, the Father already knows that. I guess I am the surprised one.... firstly that the father is running towards me.... and secondly it appears that I am more concerned about my darkness than he is. The thing keeping we away from my father is not my darkness but my fear.

God has pointed out "There is no fear in love and perfect love (God's love) casts out all fear. However it will not happen overnight, not because God can't, or won't, but because I could not cope. I have to learn to be loved, and to truly love one day at a time. In acheiving this I will lose my darkness and sin one day at a time on the way.

I rest with this scripture given to me many years ago...."Being confident of this, that he who has begun a good work  in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus" Philippians 1:6

I continue to come home and finish the story begun in Luke 15, just like you.